---

At kung isang araw'y magkabayad ang ibigin ka,
mamahalin pa rin kita, isang magpakailanmang ulit pa...

---

Warrior is a Child"
Gary Valenciano

People say that I'm amazing, I'm strong beyond my years.
But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears.
They don't know that I come running when I fall down.
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around.
I drop my sword and cry for just a while,
Coz deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child...

---

I just realized how weak I am.
Lord, tulungan mo naman ako.

---

Kaibigan
Days with the Lord

Ika'y aking kaibigan,
Kay raming pinagsamahan.
Ngayong ako'y kailangan,
Paano kitang iiwan?

you know full well na hindi ko na hinihintay ang sorry mo para patawarin kita

parehong pareho kayo ni God
may times na naiinis ako sa inyo
pero hindi ko kayang magtanim ng galit

pareho kayo ni God
nakakainis kayong magtest
masakit
pero its worth the growth

pareho kayo ni God
may times na di ko kayo nararamdaman
na parang nawawala kayo sa buhay ko
pero nandiyan pa rin

pareho kayo ni God
may times na ayoko kayong kausapin
o nagtatampo ako sa inyo
o wala lang talagang gustong sabihin
o walang masabi
pero ibang klase kayong mangulit

and lastly
pareho kayo ni God
di ako magsasawang mahalin kayo
basta ikaw, basta ikaw

So last night, i was up playing wolfRO til around 3:30 am. Then i woke up at around 12:00nn.

The weird thing there is was that i had around 4-6 dreams, 4 of which i can still recall.

The scary thing was that it seemed so real, with all the details.

Well, anyways, and now to dreamland...



[Dream 1 - PG 13]

There was an old Church, underneath which was some sort of underground catacombs. The very first idea that popped into mind was Ragnarok's setting of Glastheim. But it was somehow a mixture of game and reality. Freaky. The freakier part was that the catacombs was divided into three levels. An old white-bearded guy told me that three living demons were trapped in the catacombs, one for each division. So, I went to examine the nearest one. The door was locked and even though it had a window, the vast room inside was dark. The only thing I noticed was a weird sound -- I heard the wailing of a demon, and it's voice wanted to kill...

Waaaa.... T__T

[Dream 2 - GP]

I was in the Office of Admission and Aid. I went to the thin lady at the front desk and asked for the result of my application for renewal of scholarship. She asked for my name, and I gave it. She then said, "Ah, ikaw pala si Rychus Cortina. Sorry ah, wala ka nang scholarship." Kaboom!!

Sana hindi ito mangyari ever... maiiyak talaga ako.

[Dream 3 - R18]

I don't know. Somehow, it's connected to the first dream.

Well anyway, I was in a dark room, it was already nighttime. I was tasked to look after a woman who was apparently being haunted. So, I stayed up to look after her. Soon, I found out that she was moaning in her sleep. And for a second, her eyes flashed open without the pupils -- it was as if she was being possessed. I was shocked to see that she had wet herself and the bedsheets (no, it was not pee, use context clues pls). [I don't know what relevance this has in the dream... but dreams are typically weird anyway.] When I stood up, I noticed that there was a demon next to her bed. The demon had a head, torso and an arm only. I realized that the demon was somehow raping her psychologically. I went to wrestle the demon, and not knowing any other way to defeat it [and because I am unnecessarily violent in most of my dreams involving the supernatural], I tore its limb and head from the torso.

[Dream 4 - Err]

Damn. I can't believe I forgot this. But I swear I remembered it when I woke up. Argh...



Well, anyways, there. Feel free to react on whatever you find weird/freaky/interesting/shocking/amusing/taboo/scary/etc...

Posible kayang pag ang isang taong may third-eye ay tulog at nagshu-shutdown ang other 5 senses, naa-amplify nga kaya ang kanyang supernatural senses? Hmm, just a theory...

The events of April 28... My 20th Birthday

[Early Morning]

When i woke up that morning, it felt like any other day. Except for one -- I felt old. Nevertheless, I went straight to my computer to review some notes on Socio-Anthro 21 for our long test later that day. The funny thing is I was late for my class, and I failed the long test... quite miserably. So I was, as Papu would put it, in a mukmok mode til the subject ended. Actually, quite rapidly, the mukmok mode shifted to a burnout. Thanks to all the bad events in the last week.

[Vanishing Act]

SA21 was my only class that day. It ended without Ryan or Jay greeting me. Well, it was ok, we were all like >__< from the long test. Anyway, I've been trying to avoid people. I don't know why exactly. So I headed to Kostka 303 and was further depressed to find nobody there. So, turning my burnout-depression whatever-thingy into something productive, I read through the ACMG logbook three years ago. Somehow, the burnout faded away.

[Directionless]

After around 1.5 hours of waiting for anyone to drop by K303, I finally got tired waiting and hungry. So I went to the caf and realized that I had 150 pesos worth of food stub all to be spent that day. To cut the short story long, I ate an order of beep tapa, 2 orders of pasta, and a bottle of pepsi. So it's true that when I'm depressed I tend to really eat a lot. After pigging out, I went to the Gonzaga Chapel to pray since I'm missing the mass to go home early.

[Family Salu-salo]

I headed for home at around 11am, and was actually home by around 12:30 -- reason enough for my mom to actually scold me for being late (since our deal was that I'd miss the 12nn mass for a salu-salo). Boo. Well, anyway, so we had salu-salo at around 1:30. Wahaha.

[YM Blues]

And there was nothing to do til 6pm. So I made kulit some people over YM. Tapos, medyo nagkagulo between me and Nuki and my best friend. And I was sorry and all. Argh, sumakit yung puso at may time na di ako makahinga for like 3 minutes. I don't know. Sometimes, I just seem to be a bad friend.

[Subtext]

Anyhow, I promised to support Papu and watch his play, entitled "Subtext." On the way to the place, I actually got lost 3 times. Stupid jeeps... That was reason enough that I was all sweaty and tired and frustrated and annoyed when I reached the place. Luckily, I was not yet late for the admission. The play was definitely worth 200 bucks. I actually learned a lot of things -- on dancing and music, on loving, and being committed. Thanks, Papu, for inviting me. I'll never ever forget that play. Oh yeah, congrats to Papu for his portrayal of a highschooler in love. Galing mo, pare, the best! XD

[ACMG at Tin's Place]

After the play, Papu and I went straight to Tin's place for an inuman with the ACMG (as usual, bonding session-usapan na naman kami ni Papu sa car niya). At the same time, we celebrated my birthday there. I actually drank vodka and red wine (again). Thanks sa porkchop, Tin, sarap! :P I was actually surprised, natouch ako sobra kahit medyo on-the-spot lang yung surprise. It was nothing more than a candle (para lang i-blow) and some ice cream (vanilla and choco). Haha, you know me -- I can't live life without two things: music and ice cream. :P It was probably just ice cream in your eyes, pero hindi.

Thanks, ACMG, for making my day. It wasn't the best birthday, but at least the ending was great. Salamat, mommy Reg sa hugs and the efforts of making me always happy. Salamat, Papu, for the small talks and big ideas, at sa laging paghatid sa kin sa Vermont. Salamat, April and Sheila, for listening and sharing life and love. Salamat, Tin, for the ice cream, porkchop, and all those times na pinagtitiyagaan mong isabay ako pauwi. Salamat, kina Romee and Nino, for keeping me sane and at home in your warm friendship. Grabe, kahit di kumpleto, nabuo ang araw ko. Iba talaga ang hiwaga ng pagkakaibigan.


The events of April 29... Extension ng birthday ko

[At Rene's Place]

As if that wasn't enough (heto na yung bonus ni God for me), I spent the night at Rene's house. I was suprised na naayos na yung gulo, between Nuki and me and him. And he wasn't even angry at all. Haay, I dunno. The magic of friendship?... Basta, I love having him as my bestfriend.

At hanggang ngayon, andito pa rin ako sa bahay nila. :P

And I am happy.

It was not the best, but it had the best ending... and that's all that matters. :D

Stereotypes...


THEATER KID--
[x] Ever been in a play?
[ ] Have you ever seen a Broadway show?
[ ] More than 10 Broadway shows?
[ ] Have you ever been/Are you in school shows?
[ ] Does your current job/extra cirricular activity/class involve theater in some way?
[ ] Want to end up working in/for theater
[ ] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[x] Do you break out into random songs
[ ] Do you like the Sound of Music?
[ ] Did you like the Broadway show[s]?
Total X: 2

--REDNECK--
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[ ] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[ ] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[ ] Do you like to get dirty?
[ ] Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[ ] Do you live on more then 1 acre?
[ ] Do you have more then 4 different kinds of animals at your home?
[ ] Do you watch Larry the Cable Guy movies?
Total X: 0

-GOTH--
[ ] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[ ] Is most of your clothing dark?
[x] Do you think about death often?
[ ] Do you want to die?
[ ] Are you a social outcast?
[ ] Are you pale?
[ ] Do you like Hot Topic?
[ ] Do you enjoy Tim Burton movies?
[ ] Are you mean?
[ ] Do you hate most people
Total X: 1

--PUNK--
[ ] Can you skateboard?
[ ] Do you wear Vans?
[ ] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[ ] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[ ] Do you watch the x-games?
[ ] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] Do you like/wear a mohawk?
[ ] Do you wear Band t-shirts?
[ ] Are you a rebel without a cause?
[ ] Have you called someone a poser recently?
Total X: 0

--PREP--
[ ] Do you say the word "like" alot?
[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/AE/Aero?
[ ] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[x] Do u laugh alot when your with your friends/girlfriend or boyfriend?
[ ] Have/do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[x] Do you like pop music?
[ ] Do you want/have a little dog?
[x] Do you smile & laugh a lot!
[x] Do you hang out with your friends alot?
[x] Do you always carry a purse/wallet
Total X: 5

--HIPPIE--
[ ] Is your hair long?
[x] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[ ] Do You want to save the animals?
[x] Do you think war is unnecessary?
[ ] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[ ] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[ ] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
[x] Do you play a eukalele or bongos?
[ ] Ever watched wood stock
Total X: 3

--GANGSTA--
[ ] Do you act ghetto?
[ ] Do u wear do-rags?
[ ] Do you like hip-hop?
[ ] Was Tupac truley the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[ ] Do you like afros?
[ ] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[ ] Do you like to dance?
[ ] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
[ ]Do you wear clothing like wu-tang, g-unit, sean john, babyphat etc..
Total X: 0

--EMO-
[x] Do you cry often?
[ ] Do you wear hoodies?
[x] Do you like soft music?
[x] Do people not "understand" you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[ ] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[ ] Do you cut yourself?
[x] ARE U LONELY?
[ ] Do you like "Ohio is for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights?
[ ] Do you have square, black rimmed glasses?
Total X: 5

--SURFER--
[ ] Do you surf?
[ ] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[ ] Is your hair shaggy?
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[ ] Are you tan?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[ ] Do you hate tourists?
Total X: 2

--GEEK--
[ ] you wear glasses?:
[x] Do you get good grades?
[ ] Do you use an inhaler?
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[x] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x] Are you on the computer often?
[x] Do you ever get picked on?
[ ] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[x] Do you play video games?
Total X: 5


hmm, so im an emo prep geek... XD
stupid quizzes =__=
sorry for the insubstance

Another one of those articles from a prayer session with faci Bro. Francis:


"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you soul will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live...
Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him,
and to tour God, for he will freely pardon.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your way my ways,"
declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

---

I was rummaging through a mountain of papers just some minutes ago when I saw an article we once discussed in an ACMG prayer session... Well, since it's kind of striking, I've decided to type it up here.


[article]

PORTRAIT OF A FRIEND


I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all its heartache and pain, or the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, or judge,; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries, which I have determined for you, but I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.

[/article]