---

At kung isang araw'y magkabayad ang ibigin ka,
mamahalin pa rin kita, isang magpakailanmang ulit pa...

---

Warrior is a Child"
Gary Valenciano

People say that I'm amazing, I'm strong beyond my years.
But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears.
They don't know that I come running when I fall down.
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around.
I drop my sword and cry for just a while,
Coz deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child...

---

I just realized how weak I am.
Lord, tulungan mo naman ako.

---

Kaibigan
Days with the Lord

Ika'y aking kaibigan,
Kay raming pinagsamahan.
Ngayong ako'y kailangan,
Paano kitang iiwan?

you know full well na hindi ko na hinihintay ang sorry mo para patawarin kita

parehong pareho kayo ni God
may times na naiinis ako sa inyo
pero hindi ko kayang magtanim ng galit

pareho kayo ni God
nakakainis kayong magtest
masakit
pero its worth the growth

pareho kayo ni God
may times na di ko kayo nararamdaman
na parang nawawala kayo sa buhay ko
pero nandiyan pa rin

pareho kayo ni God
may times na ayoko kayong kausapin
o nagtatampo ako sa inyo
o wala lang talagang gustong sabihin
o walang masabi
pero ibang klase kayong mangulit

and lastly
pareho kayo ni God
di ako magsasawang mahalin kayo
basta ikaw, basta ikaw

So last night, i was up playing wolfRO til around 3:30 am. Then i woke up at around 12:00nn.

The weird thing there is was that i had around 4-6 dreams, 4 of which i can still recall.

The scary thing was that it seemed so real, with all the details.

Well, anyways, and now to dreamland...



[Dream 1 - PG 13]

There was an old Church, underneath which was some sort of underground catacombs. The very first idea that popped into mind was Ragnarok's setting of Glastheim. But it was somehow a mixture of game and reality. Freaky. The freakier part was that the catacombs was divided into three levels. An old white-bearded guy told me that three living demons were trapped in the catacombs, one for each division. So, I went to examine the nearest one. The door was locked and even though it had a window, the vast room inside was dark. The only thing I noticed was a weird sound -- I heard the wailing of a demon, and it's voice wanted to kill...

Waaaa.... T__T

[Dream 2 - GP]

I was in the Office of Admission and Aid. I went to the thin lady at the front desk and asked for the result of my application for renewal of scholarship. She asked for my name, and I gave it. She then said, "Ah, ikaw pala si Rychus Cortina. Sorry ah, wala ka nang scholarship." Kaboom!!

Sana hindi ito mangyari ever... maiiyak talaga ako.

[Dream 3 - R18]

I don't know. Somehow, it's connected to the first dream.

Well anyway, I was in a dark room, it was already nighttime. I was tasked to look after a woman who was apparently being haunted. So, I stayed up to look after her. Soon, I found out that she was moaning in her sleep. And for a second, her eyes flashed open without the pupils -- it was as if she was being possessed. I was shocked to see that she had wet herself and the bedsheets (no, it was not pee, use context clues pls). [I don't know what relevance this has in the dream... but dreams are typically weird anyway.] When I stood up, I noticed that there was a demon next to her bed. The demon had a head, torso and an arm only. I realized that the demon was somehow raping her psychologically. I went to wrestle the demon, and not knowing any other way to defeat it [and because I am unnecessarily violent in most of my dreams involving the supernatural], I tore its limb and head from the torso.

[Dream 4 - Err]

Damn. I can't believe I forgot this. But I swear I remembered it when I woke up. Argh...



Well, anyways, there. Feel free to react on whatever you find weird/freaky/interesting/shocking/amusing/taboo/scary/etc...

Posible kayang pag ang isang taong may third-eye ay tulog at nagshu-shutdown ang other 5 senses, naa-amplify nga kaya ang kanyang supernatural senses? Hmm, just a theory...

The events of April 28... My 20th Birthday

[Early Morning]

When i woke up that morning, it felt like any other day. Except for one -- I felt old. Nevertheless, I went straight to my computer to review some notes on Socio-Anthro 21 for our long test later that day. The funny thing is I was late for my class, and I failed the long test... quite miserably. So I was, as Papu would put it, in a mukmok mode til the subject ended. Actually, quite rapidly, the mukmok mode shifted to a burnout. Thanks to all the bad events in the last week.

[Vanishing Act]

SA21 was my only class that day. It ended without Ryan or Jay greeting me. Well, it was ok, we were all like >__< from the long test. Anyway, I've been trying to avoid people. I don't know why exactly. So I headed to Kostka 303 and was further depressed to find nobody there. So, turning my burnout-depression whatever-thingy into something productive, I read through the ACMG logbook three years ago. Somehow, the burnout faded away.

[Directionless]

After around 1.5 hours of waiting for anyone to drop by K303, I finally got tired waiting and hungry. So I went to the caf and realized that I had 150 pesos worth of food stub all to be spent that day. To cut the short story long, I ate an order of beep tapa, 2 orders of pasta, and a bottle of pepsi. So it's true that when I'm depressed I tend to really eat a lot. After pigging out, I went to the Gonzaga Chapel to pray since I'm missing the mass to go home early.

[Family Salu-salo]

I headed for home at around 11am, and was actually home by around 12:30 -- reason enough for my mom to actually scold me for being late (since our deal was that I'd miss the 12nn mass for a salu-salo). Boo. Well, anyway, so we had salu-salo at around 1:30. Wahaha.

[YM Blues]

And there was nothing to do til 6pm. So I made kulit some people over YM. Tapos, medyo nagkagulo between me and Nuki and my best friend. And I was sorry and all. Argh, sumakit yung puso at may time na di ako makahinga for like 3 minutes. I don't know. Sometimes, I just seem to be a bad friend.

[Subtext]

Anyhow, I promised to support Papu and watch his play, entitled "Subtext." On the way to the place, I actually got lost 3 times. Stupid jeeps... That was reason enough that I was all sweaty and tired and frustrated and annoyed when I reached the place. Luckily, I was not yet late for the admission. The play was definitely worth 200 bucks. I actually learned a lot of things -- on dancing and music, on loving, and being committed. Thanks, Papu, for inviting me. I'll never ever forget that play. Oh yeah, congrats to Papu for his portrayal of a highschooler in love. Galing mo, pare, the best! XD

[ACMG at Tin's Place]

After the play, Papu and I went straight to Tin's place for an inuman with the ACMG (as usual, bonding session-usapan na naman kami ni Papu sa car niya). At the same time, we celebrated my birthday there. I actually drank vodka and red wine (again). Thanks sa porkchop, Tin, sarap! :P I was actually surprised, natouch ako sobra kahit medyo on-the-spot lang yung surprise. It was nothing more than a candle (para lang i-blow) and some ice cream (vanilla and choco). Haha, you know me -- I can't live life without two things: music and ice cream. :P It was probably just ice cream in your eyes, pero hindi.

Thanks, ACMG, for making my day. It wasn't the best birthday, but at least the ending was great. Salamat, mommy Reg sa hugs and the efforts of making me always happy. Salamat, Papu, for the small talks and big ideas, at sa laging paghatid sa kin sa Vermont. Salamat, April and Sheila, for listening and sharing life and love. Salamat, Tin, for the ice cream, porkchop, and all those times na pinagtitiyagaan mong isabay ako pauwi. Salamat, kina Romee and Nino, for keeping me sane and at home in your warm friendship. Grabe, kahit di kumpleto, nabuo ang araw ko. Iba talaga ang hiwaga ng pagkakaibigan.


The events of April 29... Extension ng birthday ko

[At Rene's Place]

As if that wasn't enough (heto na yung bonus ni God for me), I spent the night at Rene's house. I was suprised na naayos na yung gulo, between Nuki and me and him. And he wasn't even angry at all. Haay, I dunno. The magic of friendship?... Basta, I love having him as my bestfriend.

At hanggang ngayon, andito pa rin ako sa bahay nila. :P

And I am happy.

It was not the best, but it had the best ending... and that's all that matters. :D